A Reminder For When You're Racing to Bedtime
I feel a flash of guilt at 5 pm.
At the end of the traditional work day, I’m trying to keep Bodie from being cranky as I divert my attention away from him to make his dinner. And then at about 5:25 pm I’m doing some sort of backward choo choo train dance to get him excited about having one more spoonful of said dinner. Somewhere between that last spoonful and toweling him off after bath time, I realize I’ve just been trying to get him closer to bedtime.
And that’s when the guilt lodges itself firmly in my throat. It occurs to me at the precise moment while I’m pinning Bodie down to get his overnight diaper on, that somewhere in that last hour of our day together, I just raced through the motions of motherhood.
I haven’t quite decided if Gretchen’s quote, a common refrain among mothers, makes me feel better or worse. If I were in a cynical mood, I’d think, well, shit, the years are going to fly and I’m going to waste 365 hours a year taking it for granted. More often though, I do get a bit of relief with the awareness that we all have our long days, or at least a moment in our day when we're ready to sit and just be. And the day to day moments that feel like we're slaves to minutia disappear in the context of years that we're creating goodness and growth.
Here's to another day. Would love to hear from you in the comments - does Gretchen's take on time create anxiety or perspective for you?