A Simple Trick To Stop Feeling Self-Conscious


Before I had a baby, I slept worse. The thing that was most apt to keep me up at night was how something I said landed on someone or what they walked away feeling or thinking about me.  I wish I could boldly claim not to care what people think, but I wasn't born with that superpower (I've talked about that before, here). 

So instead, I've tried loads of different exercises over the years - journaling, meditating and reading cover to cover the Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*ck. But in these last two years with a child who needs and deserves positive energy, I had to get used to walking away from the not-so-perfect interactions and letting it go.  We all agree there are just too many conversations about approaches to parenting, our choices in work and motherhood, to impress everyone.  So how does a people pleaser like me manage? 

Instead of contemplating what someone is thinking about me or my choices, I focus my energy instead on understanding them.  I ask more questions.  I listen more.  I worry less about presenting myself and my ideas and more about seeing and hearing the other person and their ideas. 

Some of that I did before, but I've been consciously focusing on that change for two weeks now.  My passing conversations and the longer intimate ones are lighter, equal and more enjoyable. I leave less worried about the other person's takeaways because I'm thinking about mine.  And best, I rest a bit easier.  

If after that you're still over-thinking, another quick solve

Do you feel self-conscious in any particular conversations?  How do you shift that for yourself? I'd love to hear your ideas on this one. xo

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