The Powerful Change I Made To Improve My Mood

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Have you ever thought about the narrative you tell yourself? For a couple tough weeks in this time of intense personal and family transition from one child to two, I was waking up and joking to Dan about “preparing for battle”. Looking back, I was seeking out time to talk openly about how tough this was. The guilt of not giving Bodie and Lyla respectively the one hundred percent I longed to give. The desire to have structured time to myself and to Mother Untitled like I did in my previous routines with one child. I wanted to be heard and I wanted to be honest.

But every day, the little struggles came to life and reinforced that rhetoric. One Sunday morning, I took some time to join an Intention Setting Workshop led by One & Many, a duo of life coaches that are beloved by many of the women I adore in the city (including the founders of HeyMama. who hosted the workshop).

In addressing the power of the narrative, Antoinette from One & Many, shared an example where in for two years she complained about a hamstring pull. And for two years she didn’t heal until one day she was tired of hearing herself complain. Two months later the pain dissolved.

In the two weeks since the workshop, I’ve stopped mentioning - even joking- about the battle. It doesn’t mean it’s all peachy but it means that I don’t want to direct any more of my energy toward that negative place. That place where I feel like I’m not doing enough. Because in investing my energy into that place, it did actually commit me to living out that narrative day to day. It directed me to see the things that underscored that narrative instead of the really special, and really successful moments.

I make an effort to talk about what’s going right, what I’m learning and the privilege to watch the love grow between my two children which is no joke - it’s incredible. I’m not bullsh*tting you, it has changed what I see during the day and how I feel every night.

I felt the teensiest bit of worry for a second that this takes away from the authenticity and honesty of this experience that brings us as moms together. But after two weeks, I don’t feel it’s any less honest but I can vouch it’s a lot happier.

The story we tell ourselves matter, lovelies - how could you reframe your story today?