What I'm Not Doing in this Season of Life



As a mom, I’m constantly taking note of what I’m NOT doing in life. The tasks I didn’t get completed, the meals I didn’t make, the legs I didn’t shave, and so on. And somehow, I forget all that I am, in fact, accomplishing. Which is why I love, love, love listening to The Balanced Life podcast. The host asks every guest one impactful question: “What aren’t you doing in this season of life?”. With confidence, the guest usually says her lineup like “cleaning my house, planning girls’ trips, volunteering in my kid’s class,” etc. There’s never a negative or shameful tone, and in fact, both host and guest seem to honor a sense of pride for what’s not getting done. Because like the show title promotes, it’s all about balance.

While I already know that I shouldn’t hold myself hostage for doing ALL THE THINGS everyday, I do. Lately, though, as I listen to more mothers weigh in on what they aren’t getting done, I’ve started to release some strict accountability of my own.

I’m learning that in different seasons of life, it’s OK to focus on the essential and to forget the rest. It’s OK that you can’t do everything you could pre-kids. It’s OK if some seasons you have time for certain things and other seasons you don’t. I’m even learning to be proud of what I’m not getting done and to encourage my friends to feel the same.

With that, it inspired me to make my own list of things I’m not doing in this season of life - and a list that I’ve grown comfortable with admitting.

  • Exercising much. While I wish I had time to workout daily like I used to, I’m simply having trouble finding the time. I walk the dog here and there, but I’m not doing a regular routine. Yes, things are softer than normal but at the moment I’m OK with that. Once my busy work season is over, I’m hoping room for movement opens up.

  • Date nights. I KNOW it’s important for our relationship but right now, we don’t have a regular babysitter - and I’m not quite comfortable leaving my 5-month-old with a stranger at night. We’ve been spending dinnertime together at home and embracing our alone time when we get it.

  • Reading. I used to finish a book every couple weeks. Since baby, I don’t think I’ve finished more than a few chapters. At night, I’d rather spend time with my husband or go to bed early. While I look forward to reading in the future, right now it’s not in the cards.

I’d love to know, what are you NOT doing in this season of life?

Chelsea Becker is a San Francisco based writer, creator of becker editorial, and on the editorial team at MU. She’s a new mom to Cooper. For her advice on physical changes as a mom, click here.