Protecting The Space I Created For Family

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It’s not a secret that I started this corner of the Internet to speak to other women intentionally making room for motherhood but here’s the sticking point - two years later, I’m wanting more breathing room.

It was feeling a little ironic until this past week when Dan and Bodie went on a boys trip with family to Utah and I stayed home with Lyla. It was then, when the bustle slowed around us that it hit me hard - I have another child and I’m at the beginning again. Another little being that I want to watch grow like I got to do with Bodie. The miracle of it - her starting to roll, clasping onto a teething ring, deep belly giggling - wasn’t lost in the noise of the usual day to day and I became acutely aware of wanting more presence for her.

So now I’m back where I was 3 years ago wanting to unabashedly simplify my headspace and any to do list tp focus this time on nurturing these little beings, my marriage and myself. Which means reevaluating priorities, plans, commitments and logistics all over again. I think in some way I resisted this in the beginning of life with two kids because of the feeling of going backward. Now, at second and third and fourth glance, it’s another powerful gift to step back and re-examine what’s authentically important to me right now.

So following this moment (moments by this point) of clarity, here’s what I’m focused on in the month ahead in a sort of first stab to get back to a slower, simpler time:

  1. Setting out of office emails (still waiting for this to exist as a text function) - There’s a tension that exists with the rest of the world who tend to be hyper available when you are not. I’m never going to be able to keep up with other people’s email (and text) etiquette, especially when I’m with the kids (see number 2) so I think I’m ready to make that known. Here’s an example that I’ll be modeling mine after.

  2. Putting my phone away except for block periods of time - I purposely lost track of my phone for the entirety of Sunday and it felt so good. No aimless scrolling or little white box alerts of app updates or Instagram likes to passively grab my attention. It’s not realistic for me to do a full digital detox nor do I want to but I do want some physical space around my family free from distraction.

  3. Writing as an exploration - Building and growing Mother Untitled is enticing when the world (and social media) values bigger. So doing so was absolutely a core priority in the middle of last year. But where I sit now (next to Bodie while Lyla naps), I’m realizing I want to reign it back to its original form. A personal, written and social exploration of this grey area lifestage with the intention to help other women feel good in the grey. Reframing and remembering that Mother Untitled is very simply a project and a conversation I care deeply about gets me back to a place of even more enjoyment which hopefully comes through in even more authentic relationship building with the community and actually helps me set in place some of these other limits.

  4. Rethinking MU plans & commitments - Per the above, we’ve tried a lot of things over here as the community has grown. Content partnerships, events and new series, etc. All of those things felt fun and exciting last year in elevating our brand but for right now, I’m going to trim the fat. I’m saying no to things that don’t necessarily feel as organic or valuable to this exploration . When I have moments of inspiration on tools or ideas I’d like to see brought to life, right now I make note instead of coming up with a plan to get there. I’m not shutting the door on anything but I’m clearing space for them if they’re still right in a little while.

I write this all out with the heavy caveat that these limits and boundaries feel right right now. If I know anything from the last three years navigating this untitled chapter, it’s that none of it’s fixed and all of it’s fluid. I’m giving myself the permission for a renewed pause perhaps because I have full confidence from the last three years knowing that a step back actually sets you in a better direction.

Have you had a juncture recently that pushed you to re-evaluate? Do you feel recommitted to slowing down or are you feeling excited about dialing up? Or are you feeling unclear - because if so, just a note to say I was there and your voice will feel more clear soon.