How I Feel After A Digital Break
For the last week in March, I stopped writing, posting and e-mailing. I limited calls and texts. I gave myself that break from others so I had nothing else pulling at my attention besides my kids. As I’ve mentioned (here and here), we were going through a transition parting with our beloved part time nanny followed quickly by Spring Break from nursery school (of course). I anticipated big emotions for everyone and a break from routine that would mean a little more planning and activities at home and even more presence and patience.
These breaks from routine happen often in the small world our kids live in. Sometimes in the form of school holidays and more often subtle fractures of change. Since having Lyla and adjusting to our dynamic of four, I have a heightened sensitivity to processing change - how hard it can be for us as adults to adjust, to find our footing, to grieve the loss of the past. So my empath self was in over drive preparing for this change for Bodie.
I loved how many people cheered along with my update on taking a one week pause on the site and social but it was a reminder that disconnecting feels daunting for most of us. In a world where many of us thrive on our connection to our communities, professional or personal, the risk of missing something or worse, being forgotten weighs heavy.
But that risk rendered itself obslete next to the idea of my little boy navigating a colossal change. It won’t always be possible for me to shut down or shut off so I can focus on these little beings so for last week, I took that gift without guilt.
I realized this Monday as Bodie scootered off to school and I slowly turned back on that I feel organized. I feel confident. I feel ready.
Yes, I gave Bodie and Lyla a lot of attention last week but I gave our unit, and me at the center of that, attention. I finally hired a new nanny. I gave thought to what I wanted our new routine to look like. A routine that affords me a bulk of quality time with the kids with a balance of time and space for myself, my marriage and Mother Untitled. I set healthy goals for what I want to get in that time and space. I committed to an energy I want for us in the new season. I chopped my hair.
So yeah, the kids needed a little tlc but once again I’m reminded that pauses, or even smaller pauses within pauses, are powerful.
Featured Image via Rose & Rex