The One Routine That Made The Transition To Two Easier
In the first couple weeks of life with two kids I deeply wished Bodie was in school 5 mornings a week. But once I got past the initial postpartum recovery and was a bit better slept, I started to use the mornings he was off to fill him up with love.
In the first 6 weeks, I very intentionally made him a ruthless priority, making myself very available to him for play, meals, bedtime and anything in between. After it was clear he was very secure that Lyla wasn’t a risk to his place in our world, I started balancing the two of them side by side and was much more comfortable and confident telling either of them that they needed to wait while I tended to the other. Very quickly, they both became happier to be alongside one another, whether that’s with me or a babysitter and that’s only gotten more so.
As our new dynamic unfolded, I toned down the 1:1 time with Bodie to a more sustainable routine. Pockets of focused time during the day during naps and one or two standing outings. The coffee and croissant after pick up and a Wednesday morning adventure stuck.
As the weather warms that means he can scoot down 5th avenue to the Union Square farmers market or up Park to the Scandinavia House for art. I can keep up with him because I’m not one handing a stroller which he appreciates. We can take our time getting to wherever and he delights in showing me every flower or truck he observes.
He pays it forward by being very open and understanding when I take Lyla for a music or movement class as it’s her turn to have special time.
And it’s not just for him or for her, that quality time with both fills me up too. It makes me feel more connected to where they each are emotionally, physically, etc. which serves us all when we’re back together. It lets me stay on the floor with each child at their unique stages and exercise very different parenting muscles. And it makes me feel unbelievably grateful to be able to experience these individuals in the making.
If you have more than one child do you have a similar or different view on 1:1 time with either kid? Curious to hear!