Friends Over Kids Sometimes, And That's OK



Between pregnancy, the heat and a no-nap toddler I thought I’d lose it last week. Correction: I lost it. Here I am writing about patience and peaceful parenting and well, fellow mamas, I had NONE come Friday. It was embarrassing how triggered I was by a two-year-old not napping. (Ugh, in hindsight he was actually so cute and sweet and loving about it, too!)

My parents planned to come over to have Friday night/Shabbat dinner with Ness, and I was going to meet friends for a night away with them the next day. It took about an hour (of again: totally normal cutie-toddler behavior that drove me bat-shit) before I decided to pack my bags in a huff (I didn’t even bring a toothbrush!! No cleanser!! The weirdest assortment of clothes!) and hop on a train to Jersey to meet my friends for some (CLEARLY) much needed girl time.

What was the lesson for me?

My relationship with my child(ren) are of utmost importance to me, yes. Priority number one. BUT. But, in order to serve that relationship I need to maintain my friendships and more to the point, my SELF in order to, um, have perspective.

I came home from my girls’ weekend so grateful for the goodness in my life. For my family. For the choices I have. For the freedom I do still have if I’m willing to take it. And for the girlfriends who have stuck it out with me for nearly three decades.

This weekend, I’m hoping to call a family meeting where Dan and I take out our calendars and plan vacations, solo time, couple time etc. in advance. I need them. This week has been so much more enjoyable/truly love-filled now that I took some space to see with fresh eyes. It’s time I plan for that in advance. Especially with a new baby on the way! It’s never ever ever easy to leave, at least not for me. But it’s necessary.

How do you take space to gain perspective? Would love to hear from you here or @motheruntitled and @daniellarabbani on Instagram.

Daniella Rabbani is a Brooklyn based actress and the honest motherhood contributor to the MU community. Her full time gig is mama to Ness and has a daughter on the way.

Image via Amanda Holstein